Wanna Go Shopping....

Shopping helps me ease my nerves.  I don't scare whether it is food shopping, clothes shopping, book shopping or fabric shopping!  I want to walk through aisles and be able to feel and touch things as I hear bass and voices in my ears.  It takes me away.  That brings me joy, even if I don't purchase the item. The ability to be able to touch and turn a product, instead of hoping I like it when I hit the, "Add to Cart," button is a thing.  Stuck in a city and town where it appears masks are "optional," to people, I am forced to shop online - by choice of course - because I don't want to get infected with this virus spreading.  This entire COVID situation seems to be a "choice" to people because they aren't taking it seriously by wearing masks and staying out of clubs and restaurants where I live.  People are still dying and as a result there's going to be a  prolonged period of me hitting the, "Add to Cart," button instead of touching and feeling the way I would like to.  I'm not mad at Jeff Bezos.  He is doing his thing.  He had a system in place that just happened to be beneficial for something like this and millions of us hitting that button during this time has made him a very wealthy man. Not rich. Wealthy.

There is a down side to this soul searching period; besides the job loss and deaths of course.  I am afraid that after all of us humans on this planet are vaccinated, we would have become more selfish and anti-social than before.  It can be a game changer if we all just think about people other than ourselves but somewhere along the way, we became a higher level of money hungry, competitive on a higher scale, disrespectful to others and impatient with each other. Humanity, where are you? You have peeked your way through during certain situations this past year but between the riots and elections, I started to loose my faith in you.  Somehow, the only thing we have come to realize, or not, over this pandemic period, is that it really does take a village to raise children and get things done.  No school, after school programs, gyms, parks, etc. No external program support to ease the chitter chatter and children's unpredictable behavior.  Parents have had to go it alone! But wait!  Has that been the lesson?  Patience?

Prior to the pandemic, we knew, and saw that no one person can do everything on their own.  The loneliness of quarantining somehow showed a new kind of selfishness.  The kind that makes you want to focus on self-care now - whether that means wanting to shop, drink wine, read more, or become better parents. There are parents whining and complaining - yet not appreciating teachers.  They miss their days of scouring the racks of stores and heading to the gym and lunch date with friends, with no children.  The days of wanting to be out seem so minute compared to what is happening in the world right now but honestly, the need to get back out there is overwhelming. The ability for me, to see and touch not just things, but people, is real. I can't get everything I need from my household. I need the village!  Adding items to my cart is not fun anymore and I have accomplished goals that seemed far out of reach before quarantining.  I wanna go shopping.  I want to believe in people doing good things for others again, of their own free will.  I want to believe in Humanity again.