Thursday, December 31, 2020

New Year, New Me

I've been on a, "If you aren't about making my life better, don't be in my life, " mode.  The revolving door is shut! Why?  It has been the year of "trial and error, find yourself, make change and see who the real people are in your life" - that's why!  I am leaving 2020 behind and all the of people that I thought I needed, but have come to realize I don't.  I am going to tell you all about it in this blog for the new year with the idea that 2021 has GOT to be better than 2020!

Since March 2020, I have continued to pursue my passions, attempt to do things that make ME happy; not everyone else around me and weed out the people that I need to - to change where I share my energy, my time, my resources, which by the way, people don't like! 

Weeding out people from my life that don't care about the things I have to say are necessary.  I understand that we don't have to see things the same way,  have the same points of view.... heck, that's what the entire 2nd half of 2020 was about, right, with all of the election bull crap, of course, but I'm talking about people that don't accept the differences.  The world was divided and of course, I "Unfriended" a lot of people off my FB account because of that.  



BUT what I would say, is that if the people in my life don't care about my thoughts, emotions or actions, why the heck are they IN my life? Leave! Since I realized it after many events throughout the year, I helped them out.  Get out. Go. I am not holding you here.  Why the heck are you around???? THAT is how I ended up on the journey of acceptance.  The path that says, I am who I am, not going for feel sorry for something I did, or said, that I was not aware hurt your feelings because you are too "passive" or not adult enough to  mention it.  I am accepting the fact that others may have been "tolerant" of who I am - but also accepting the fact that they may have never really loved me. That explains why I always put more time and energy into the relationship.  I have put up with putting myself out there, being available to others, going out of my way, for far too long, yet getting no support through life changing events in my life.  I almost died. Seriously!  True story that I am sure will come up - and no, it was not COVID. Where were the people that "love" me?? All they could see was their problems - as if mine were not important enough... them not seeing my need for support because of their magical blinders of only seeing ME as an issue. It is wrong for others to judge people then make you feel they are superior and not up to their standards to be in their lives.  Well, no more! Good-bye and good luck!  I am choosing me! New year, new me. Screw everything else.  Why not?  

Like many, we all found out who our true peeps are. We found out who the true, "ride or die" people are.  I hope you put yourself first this coming year because I have learned, though I have said it many times before, mental and emotional health is much more important than the people who choose to come and go, like a revolving door, when they please to.

Bring on 2021.  I am ready for you! I'm coming for you because life has to get better and I am making sure it does.

Think about that crap!

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